By Teddy Leon
Why some individuals thrive in the face of adversity.
Childhood is a time of innocence, wonder, and growth. However, for some, it can also be a period marked by adversity and challenges. While it may seem counterintuitive, those who faced significant obstacles during their formative years often emerge with stronger character and resilience compared to those who grew up with all of the perks and privileges.
Adversity tends to act as a catalyst for developing resilience—the ability to bounce back from difficult situations. When faced with adversity at a young age, many children learn to adapt, overcome obstacles, and find ways to thrive despite challenging circumstances. They develop the resilience necessary to confront and navigate through life’s ups and downs. This resilience becomes an integral part of their character, providing them with the inner strength to persevere in the face of future difficulties. Perseverance allowed them to experience firsthand setbacks, failures, and frustrations that arose along their journey, and transforming those into persistence and determination. They understand that success often requires effort, patience, and a refusal to give up. This perseverance becomes an integral part of their character, driving them forward even when faced with daunting challenges.
Overcoming adversity also requires the child to develop problem-solving skills. These skills are developed as children learn to think critically, creatively, and resourcefully in order to find solutions to the challenges they face. This ability to tackle problems, and find innovative ways to overcome obstacles becomes a valuable asset in all areas of life as they grow. It equips them with the confidence and skills to navigate through future difficulties and find paths to success.
In addition to resilience and problem-solving, the appreciation of hard work is essential. Childhood adversity often necessitates hard work and dedication to overcome obstacles. Children who experienced hardships learn the value of diligence, discipline, and putting in the necessary effort to achieve their goals. They understand that success is not handed to them on a silver platter, but rather earned through hard work and resilience. This appreciation for the value of hard work becomes a guiding principle in their lives, leading to a stronger work ethic and a greater sense of accomplishment.
While others do not.
However, it is important to note that not all children benefit from adversity in a positive manner. Factors such as the existence of a support system and individual psychological make up play a significant role in shaping outcomes.
When faced with adversity, a child’s support system plays a crucial role. Having caring and nurturing individuals in their lives, such as family members, friends, or mentors, can make a substantial difference. Supportive relationships offer emotional comfort, guidance, and practical assistance, helping children navigate the challenges they face. This support fosters resilience, enabling them to find meaning, learn from their experiences, and develop effective coping strategies.
In terms of the child’s psychological make up, individual traits like optimism, perseverance, and adaptability contribute to better outcomes from adverse situation, highlighting the obvious, that as individuals, we are each different. Yet, society labels individuals, and utilize these labels to identify and interact with them- for e.g mother, father, teacher, members of a political party, profession, liberal, conservative, based on the premise that members of the same group share similar characteristics. However, we are individuals, regardless of our groups, and quite different to members of the groups we belong to. Certainly you can attest to these differences when you look at your children, and marvel at their differences, or perhaps your siblings.
Our personalities, temperaments, and coping mechanisms are the great differentiators in a sea of pretend or labelled “sameness”, and these are the very traits that result in individuals experiencing the similar circumstances, and yet have different results.
Some individuals appear to possess higher levels of traits such as optimism, perseverance, or adaptability, which empowers them to embrace challenges and find opportunities for personal growth. These individuals tend to display higher levels of resilience and resourcefulness when confronted with adversity and as a result tend to have better outcomes from adverse situations, when compared to others who do not posses similar levels of said attributes.
The nature and intensity of the adversity itself also plays a pivotal role in shaping how the child develops later in life. Adversity can act as a catalyst for growth, teaching children important life lessons, building character, and instilling determination. However, it is important to note that severe and prolonged adversities, such as trauma or abuse, can have profound negative effects on children, potentially impeding their ability to benefit from the experience, especially if they do not have the appropriate support systems available to them.
The take away message.
Essentially the impact of early-life adversity varies greatly from person to person, and multiple factors contribute to this divergence. While a strong support system, individual traits, and the nature of the adversity itself can foster growth and resilience, mental health, access to resources, and opportunities also significantly influence the outcomes. Therefore it is essential to recognize and address the diverse needs of individuals who have experienced adversity, and provide them with the necessary support and resources to navigate and transcend their challenges, ultimately fostering their resilience and well-being.
How do we translate this into something actionable?
Fundamentally, adversity can be used as “sand boxes” that provide teachable moments where children are proactively guided through the adversity they encounter, with the goal of assisting them in building skills that equip them for the future.
As parents and guardians, we seek to ensure our family never experience the adversities we encountered in life, but, those experiences are responsible for shaping us into the individuals we are today. There is an old quote from a novel by G. Michael Hopf “Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times”, that further highlights the thinking that the adversities we encounter build character and resilience, and that they should be embraced as opposed to avoided.
Therefore, our task as parents should be as previously mentioned, to provide a support system for children that they use to navigate adversities, rather than act as a shield to prevent them from being exposed to adversities.
So how do we translate this into practice? We can start by cultivating supportive relationships for children that encourages the development of strong, positive relationships with family, friends, mentors, and supportive individuals. These relationships provide a support system children can tap into when they encounter adverse situations. This can be analogous to taking your child to the play park for the first time. Initially, s/he stand next to you, but eventually, they wander off, then returns, with a repeat of the action where each “return” time takes a bit longer. Your role being providing reassurance that everything is ok, and you are available if needed.
Linked to that is the importance of fostering a positive mindset, by helping individuals develop a positive outlook and mindset in their daily lives. Here, you aim to encourage optimism, gratitude, and self-belief, while promoting positive self-talk and the ability to reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth. Play park analogy- every time time the child returns to your side, you encourage them to go back out there. If there was a spill or a negative interaction, you assist them in reframing it and moving forward, and certainly not attempting to remove them from the situation they found themself in.
Related to this is encouraging healthy risk-taking behaviour, where individuals are supported in taking calculated risks and stepping outside their comfort zones. I believe this is one of the most important ways you can build resilience in children. By taking risk, they will be exposed to failure, and when supported, they learn failure is a natural part of life, serves as an opportunity for learning, and can be overcome. Having a positive mindset and engaging in new experiences while embracing challenges builds confidence and resilience that will allow them to manage future adverse situation much better.
Finally, you should lead by example. When you demonstrate resilience by engaging in healthy coping strategies, problem-solving skills, and a positive attitude towards adversity, this reinforces for children that setbacks are a natural part of life and can be overcome with perseverance, providing to them opportunities for vicariously learning how to manage adverse situations.
How you respond to a setback, a flat tire, a missed promotion, or a failed exam, provides cues to them as to the appropriate way to respond to similar situations if they experience them. Remember, building resilience is an ongoing process that requires patience, consistency, role-modeling, and support. By implementing these strategies, children can develop the skills and mindset necessary to navigate and thrive in the face of adversity.
In conclusion, the impact of early-life adversity varies greatly from person to person, and multiple factors contribute to this divergence. While a strong support system, individual traits, and the nature of adversity itself can foster growth and resilience, mental health, access to resources, and opportunities also significantly influence the outcomes. It is essential to recognize and address the diverse needs of individuals who have experienced adversity, providing them with the necessary support and resources to navigate and transcend their challenges, ultimately fostering their resilience and well-being.
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About the Author:
Behavioural Scientist with 15+ years of
experience in Social Development.
Worked with global development and public health agencies including
PAHO, USAID, FHI360, and UWI.
